“He doesn’t talk to me.”
What she means is talk to me about anything important to our relationship. She’s right. And the truth is that most of us don’t talk to each other about things we consider personal or private. Like sex. Studies have shown that couples have never discussed their sex contract, because the subject is too personal or private.
Too Personal? Private? The most intimate, continuous, shared experience of the partnership is never discussed? Talk about a missed opportunity. And the real tragedy is the precedent we establish: we don’t talk about sex because it’s too personal, therefore, we don’t have to talk about anything else we consider personal. So we go through married life not really talking to each other.
80% of the men in a recent survey, if they had it to do over again, would marry the same woman. That’s pretty good.
Unfortunately, only 50% of the women would marry the same man. Wow! We ask, “Are men that bad as husbands?” Or are women that disappointed in the man they thought they married? Or a presumption gone South: they thought they could change him.
Adjustment to one another is something we have to work on continuously, because the conditions keep changing, especially when the kids join the party.
Did you read where the average person has seven sexual fantasies every day?
I don’t believe it, but just think, if only we could harness those fantasies and re-direct them to our partners in the bedroom, what a happy lot we would be. We might experience a resurgence of energy that would sweep the nation. Imagine, a whole nation of people walking around with a smile on their faces. Stands to reason: the male half of our population, 47% in a recent survey, rated a good sex life more important than making money.
Unfortunately, only 26% of the women shared that view.
One of the virtues of sculpting is that you can be thinking of something else while your hands are busy creating something that will be cherished for a lifetime. My something else is usually someone else’s problem.